Valentine Redux

Last year…

Last year I went out for Valentine’s Day with the woman I love. At the time, she knew was going to break up with me. It didn’t last..and for that I am incredibly grateful. By late March or early April we were back together again, and she has been part of my life since. I love being with her, and though I still feel I don’t see her enough, I love every minute we do have together.

So why does the one little thing bother me…

Why do I let Facebook tell me she’s single…when I know I have her heart. It’s the silliest thing…It shouldn’t matter…it’s so damn small and petty but occasionally it still drives me nuts.

I’m a friggin dork.

In other news… I haven’t posted in ages because there really hasn’t been a lot of I’ve wanted to say. I haven’t been angry, I haven’t been sad, I haven’t been hurt, I haven’t raged. I’ve been happy, so happy, that in some ways I’ve been boring…

Oh there’s been a few things, my son has struggled with soe issues lately, but even his problems haven’t felt insurmountable. I don’t txt or email my Ex anymore. She’d gotten so unreasonable I just decided it wasn’t worth my time or energy…and I’d finally gotten everything settled. Last October I took her back to court and settled the parenting time issues…and she officially gave up all the time she wasn’t taking. Along with that came the much needed court ordered child support. Yep…shocking I know, but I’m actually getting monthly child support from her. The only part that pissed me off was that they didn’t order the back child support I was due. I’m down to less than a year of maintenance…and even that’s been reduced because her stupid lawyer screwed up the garnishment and I overpaid last year.

All in all…

Life is pretty damn good!

Exhausted

Feeling drained, low energy, tired, and just plain angry that I have to do all of this myself. My ex was always a selfish person….and having her here wouldn’t have made any difference…but man is this job difficult. Never enough time with the boys, always feeling guilty, and yet I push on and try my hardest to give them what they need.

2 years

Two years ago I did something out of character for me. I figured if I didn’t I would regret it forever….and I made the right one. I’ve never regretted my choice….and I found something I wasn’t looking for. I found love…and more. Thank you J….so very very much.